Every day it seems Father God is teaching me more and more about who He is, and being the self centered creature that I am, I immediately look to myself to see how this affects me.
Well God being who He is knows this about me so, He has been using this time to show me who I am also.
For one I am beginning to see just how self centered I really am.
Not a pretty sight I must say, and it seems I'm in a constant state of repentance. A good place to be, but not the most comfortable, also a good place to be. It seems from the evidence in my past that when I'm complacently comfortable I'm actually slip sliding away from Father into the abyss of my own selfish hell.
I might want to get that fixed. Actually no might to it; I do want and must have this fixed!! I want it ASAP, but reality is that it is and will continue to be a process, probably life long.
Thank God for the Holy Spirit! His influence in my life, means that this can, is and will be done.
Another benefit of this time in my life, is I'm beginning to get some idea of the depth of the love that God has for us!!!
A full understanding will only come thru eternity, but for now, what I have been privileged to see, and am in the process of learning and seeing, so far exceeds my wildest imagination of what a real love can be, that I am in total awe!!!
All the splendor of the known galaxy can not compare to the tenderness of the love that my Heavenly Father has and SHOWS to and for me, and all of us; if we have the eyes and hearts to see and preceive it.
Some times I can only sit still and bask in His presence, knowing full well that this a privilege is not something I have earned thru any goodness or righteousness of my own, but that it is a gift of love from the author and source of all love.
and all I can come up with is...
Wow! God Rocks!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Long time no write!!
Life has been a busy thing lately,
A good busy; but busy non the less.
In Isaiah when God is discussing fasting, he mentions the type of fast he requires of us. and one of the things that is a part of the required fast is that we "hide not our flesh from ourselves"
WOW!!!!
If you really want to take a good long, hard look at your self, and really see what other people see when they look at you, a really good Holy Spirit lead fast is just the ticket.
I have noticed that the more time I spend in God's presence during my time of fasting the more I get to see me, with out the pretty coat of deception I have woven so skillfully around me so as to not have to see ALL the spots, wrinkles and blemishes.
I must say that when it is stripped away the picture takes a completely different view, and if it weren't for the Gentle grace and compassion my Abba uses in showing me this not so lovely view of me I'd pack my bags and move to another planet.
But His Grace!!!!!!!
Three of the sweetest words I know!!!!
I now begin to understand what Paul meant when he wrote, "His Grace is sufficient for me"!
Even in my selfishness and often infantile behaviors, God's unmerited favor is still poured out on me, His love is never changing, and His comfort and help is ever ready to guide and directed me in the way that I should go.
I am so thankful for this time of fasting and consecration that God has called His body to, it has been a much awaited and oh so needed awakening,
My prayer is that not a moment of God's time has been wasted on me.and that every seed He has planted in me, is and will ,continue to grow to full fruition for His Glory and Praise.
That all who encounter me will have no choice but to say, God is Real in the world today and He must needs receive all Praise, Honor and Glory!!!!!
A good busy; but busy non the less.
In Isaiah when God is discussing fasting, he mentions the type of fast he requires of us. and one of the things that is a part of the required fast is that we "hide not our flesh from ourselves"
WOW!!!!
If you really want to take a good long, hard look at your self, and really see what other people see when they look at you, a really good Holy Spirit lead fast is just the ticket.
I have noticed that the more time I spend in God's presence during my time of fasting the more I get to see me, with out the pretty coat of deception I have woven so skillfully around me so as to not have to see ALL the spots, wrinkles and blemishes.
I must say that when it is stripped away the picture takes a completely different view, and if it weren't for the Gentle grace and compassion my Abba uses in showing me this not so lovely view of me I'd pack my bags and move to another planet.
But His Grace!!!!!!!
Three of the sweetest words I know!!!!
I now begin to understand what Paul meant when he wrote, "His Grace is sufficient for me"!
Even in my selfishness and often infantile behaviors, God's unmerited favor is still poured out on me, His love is never changing, and His comfort and help is ever ready to guide and directed me in the way that I should go.
I am so thankful for this time of fasting and consecration that God has called His body to, it has been a much awaited and oh so needed awakening,
My prayer is that not a moment of God's time has been wasted on me.and that every seed He has planted in me, is and will ,continue to grow to full fruition for His Glory and Praise.
That all who encounter me will have no choice but to say, God is Real in the world today and He must needs receive all Praise, Honor and Glory!!!!!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Another Chance to smile!!!
As I sit here watching yet more sleet and ice come cascading form the sky, I have to smile. It's another day to delight my self in the Lord!! At a leisurely pace no less; with activities cancelled, I get to have a quiet day of restful contemplation.
I go over in my mind the past few years of this journey, and I stand amazed at the mercy and grace God has poured out over my life.
In truth from an earthly standpoint I have never been hit by so much Real life drama, from Financial disaster, to the Death of my baby boy, to heart attacks and bypass surgery.
To the outward appearance these past 5 years have been everything but blessed.
From where I stand now!!!???!!?
It was an arduous journey, but the destination, ROCKS!!!
What I now know of God and His love and compassion, I would not know from any other path.
What I now know of me and all Abba, has put into making me, who I am today, I would not trade for any thing. not even for one more day here on Earth with Jonathon. I will see him when I step into Eternity, and this time will be as nothing.
What I have today is a new appreciation for the moments I get to spend here sowing into other's lives, and being a friend.
I now have no fear of letting go of those who add nothing positive or only wish to take and never plant good seed.
Alone is not always a bad thing, because lonely can happen in a crowd, alone is a choice, time to meditate on all that Abba has taught me and is presently teaching me.
True friends are precious. Loved ones even more precious. though oft times these are interchangable.
Laughter is the best seasoning I can think of for life.
and the more I think on the Goodness of the Lord, the more Goodness I remember, till I'm over flowing!!
So today I share my over flow with you and pray that this day can be for you a day of remembered blessings, real time blessings and blessings to look forward to.
I go over in my mind the past few years of this journey, and I stand amazed at the mercy and grace God has poured out over my life.
In truth from an earthly standpoint I have never been hit by so much Real life drama, from Financial disaster, to the Death of my baby boy, to heart attacks and bypass surgery.
To the outward appearance these past 5 years have been everything but blessed.
From where I stand now!!!???!!?
It was an arduous journey, but the destination, ROCKS!!!
What I now know of God and His love and compassion, I would not know from any other path.
What I now know of me and all Abba, has put into making me, who I am today, I would not trade for any thing. not even for one more day here on Earth with Jonathon. I will see him when I step into Eternity, and this time will be as nothing.
What I have today is a new appreciation for the moments I get to spend here sowing into other's lives, and being a friend.
I now have no fear of letting go of those who add nothing positive or only wish to take and never plant good seed.
Alone is not always a bad thing, because lonely can happen in a crowd, alone is a choice, time to meditate on all that Abba has taught me and is presently teaching me.
True friends are precious. Loved ones even more precious. though oft times these are interchangable.
Laughter is the best seasoning I can think of for life.
and the more I think on the Goodness of the Lord, the more Goodness I remember, till I'm over flowing!!
So today I share my over flow with you and pray that this day can be for you a day of remembered blessings, real time blessings and blessings to look forward to.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Happy Snow Day!!!!!!!
Well so much for writing every day.
But it's ok, I haven't turned a joy into a drudge or some horrible law thing.
For me this is good!! Way Goood.
My days have been full of the small necessary tasks of every day life, and though there have been moments when I have had to remind my self that it is not really worth getting up set about or worring about, a few times, ok we are just gong to call it a few.
I have on the whole remembered to give it to Abba, and let Him do what He saisd He would do, Carry it for me.
That is a very challenging thing for me.
I have been doing the carrying for a very long time.
I have had trust isuues for a grip!
I had been living by evidense not faith.
My past weighed in more heavily then God's word.
That thank God is changing even as I type!!!
I have to admit, it is tempting to try and take back all I lay at His feet, but I know that if I keep just reminding my self, and letting go, even if I have to let go of the same thing 50 times, ( one would like to think, one wouldn't be that clueless. Alas one also must be honest!) I will get better at this,
And with the sweet wonderful assistance of the Holy Spirit, this will soon be a way of life for me.
I would like to say I can already see a difference, but I'm too new at this to even recognize it if I do see it, this too will become apparent in time!
In the mean time moment by moment, Second by second, minute by minute, (I'll get to hour by hour in time) I have to remind my self and rejoice in the fact that God's got my back
But it's ok, I haven't turned a joy into a drudge or some horrible law thing.
For me this is good!! Way Goood.
My days have been full of the small necessary tasks of every day life, and though there have been moments when I have had to remind my self that it is not really worth getting up set about or worring about, a few times, ok we are just gong to call it a few.
I have on the whole remembered to give it to Abba, and let Him do what He saisd He would do, Carry it for me.
That is a very challenging thing for me.
I have been doing the carrying for a very long time.
I have had trust isuues for a grip!
I had been living by evidense not faith.
My past weighed in more heavily then God's word.
That thank God is changing even as I type!!!
I have to admit, it is tempting to try and take back all I lay at His feet, but I know that if I keep just reminding my self, and letting go, even if I have to let go of the same thing 50 times, ( one would like to think, one wouldn't be that clueless. Alas one also must be honest!) I will get better at this,
And with the sweet wonderful assistance of the Holy Spirit, this will soon be a way of life for me.
I would like to say I can already see a difference, but I'm too new at this to even recognize it if I do see it, this too will become apparent in time!
In the mean time moment by moment, Second by second, minute by minute, (I'll get to hour by hour in time) I have to remind my self and rejoice in the fact that God's got my back
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)